When It Feels Impossible to Imagine Healing
If you’ve found yourself wondering, Am I ever going to get better? or Will I ever enjoy my life again? you are not alone. If you’re struggling to focus, to think clearly, to function in basic ways, or even imagine doing something normal like taking a vacation or going to the store, this is for you.
Healing can feel so far away. It might even sound like a fantasy. But it is real. And the healing process is already in motion, even if you can’t feel it yet.
I offering support groups and 1:1 coaching for those going through withdrawal. If you’d like someone to walk with you through this season, I would love to meet with you. My withdrawal was brutal. I know how dark it can get. I also know how real healing is. I’m now in a place of joy, health, and full life, and I want to support you on your way there.
👉 Go here to see my calendar and register
The Symptoms That Hijack Daily Life
For many people in withdrawal, the symptoms are so intense that they seem to take over everything. Terror, panic attacks, looping thoughts, crushing anxiety, sweats, chills, cognitive problems, anhedonia. Maybe you can’t read, write, drive, shop, or even carry a conversation.
Some people become housebound. Some are stuck in bed. Even planning groceries feels impossible. It can feel like your entire life has been erased. But this isn’t the new you. These are symptoms. They are withdrawal symptoms, not permanent traits. And they are not your fault.
Your Body Knows How to Heal
What you’re going through is not a personality change, it’s an injury to your system. It’s the brain and body rebalancing after psychiatric medications are removed.
And here’s the incredible thing: the body heals. Even if all you’re doing today is lying down eating chicken nuggets and watching TV, your body is still working behind the scenes. It’s recalibrating. It's rebuilding nerve pathways. It’s figuring out how to regulate dopamine, serotonin, sleep, digestion. The healing is happening even if all you feel is wrecked.
Understanding Waves and Windows
Most people describe the healing process as coming in “waves and windows.”
At first, symptoms can be constant and overwhelming. But maybe—just for five minutes, you feel a little less bad. You sit on the porch. You breathe without panic. That’s a window. It might be tiny and fleeting, but it’s real.
Over time, those moments stretch. Maybe one day you feel okay for an hour. Then for a morning. Then for a full day. The windows become clearer. The waves (those periods of darkness) become less intense, less frequent.
You begin to do more. You go to the grocery store. You walk around the block without spiraling. You have a real conversation. And then you realize… I felt like myself today.
When the Baseline Begins to Shift
Eventually, your “normal” starts to change. It used to be suffering 24/7 with five-minute breaks. Now it's feeling okay most of the time, with only occasional symptoms.
And then one day, that last wave hits, but it’s short. You’re in bed, flattened by it… and then the next day, you’re back. You’re functioning again. You’re smiling. You’re thinking clearly. You didn’t do anything dramatic to make it happen. It just unfolded naturally, as healing does.
Not Everyone Heals the Same Way
If you haven’t felt a single window yet, take heart. Some people don’t experience the waves-and-windows pattern. For some, it lifts suddenly. For others, it’s jagged, nonlinear. There might be setbacks after a long run of progress. That doesn’t mean you’re back at the beginning. It means your system is still running its course.
Every single day that you live through this process, wave or window, is another step closer to healing.
You Are Still In There
If you feel lost in the symptoms, like your real self is gone, please know this: you are still there. Even if you can’t find yourself, even if you feel like a ghost of who you were, you are not gone. You are suffering. And the suffering will pass.
That person who wants to connect, to create, to laugh, to eat good food, to enjoy a sunset or make dinner or go back to work, she will return. You won’t have to force it. You’ll just start wanting things again. Craving life again. Feeling inspired again.
And one day, all of this will be behind you.
You Won’t Always Need Reminders
It’s hard to wait. Hard to live with the question: How long is this going to last?
But healing does come. You won’t always be looking for videos or reassurance. There will be a time when you’ve moved on, not because you gave up, but because you’ve come back to life. And when that happens, all of this will feel far away.
Hold on. Healing is real. You’re getting there. One hour at a time.