If you’re going through psychiatric medication withdrawal and feel like you’ve lost your identity, you are not alone. Many people navigating this journey struggle with painful questions about who they are, what was "real" while they were medicated, and whether they’ll ever feel normal again. In this post, I want to speak directly to those fears and offer encouragement from someone who has come out the other side.
I’m now offering coaching sessions for those going through withdrawal. If you’d like someone to walk with you through this season, I would love to meet with you. My withdrawal was brutal. I know how dark it can get. I also know how real healing is. I’m now in a place of joy, health, and full life, and I want to support you on your way there.
👉 Go here to see my calendar and schedule a session
Understanding Withdrawal and Identity Crisis
One of the hardest and most disorienting parts of withdrawal is the fear that you have completely annihilated your personality, or that you have no personality at all. It can feel like you don’t know who you are anymore, like you’re just a wreck of a human being. These feelings are common, and they are deeply unsettling.
If you're wondering who you are now, or if you're questioning every aspect of your life and identity, know that this is part of the withdrawal process. I have seen it over and over again. I experienced it myself. These fears and identity questions come up often for people going through withdrawal. There seems to be something about the healing process that brings this to the surface. We may never fully understand why, but we can recognize it for what it is.
Common Questions During Withdrawal
Many people ask themselves, "Who would I have been if I hadn’t taken this medication?" or "What did it take from me?" You might feel like the medication dulled you, muted your personality, or took years away from you. You may look back and question every choice you made during those years, feeling like your whole life is in upheaval.
These thoughts are not just normal, they are expected. But that doesn’t mean they’re true. The confusion, the sense of loss, the regret, these are all part of what the withdrawal process stirs up. It’s a time when everything feels uncertain, and you may even wonder if you’ve ruined your life. I did too.
Dealing with Negative Thoughts
One of the most important things to understand is that withdrawal gives you a dark and negative interpretation of everything. Your brain is not seeing things clearly right now. It is not a good time to evaluate your whole life or make any major decisions.
You might think you were a monster, that you made nothing but wrong choices, that you hurt everyone around you. But these thoughts are poisoned by the withdrawal process. They are not reliable. Ask people who know and love you for their perspective. Let them speak into your view of yourself.
Finding Balance and Perspective
Yes, there may have been some loss. Medications do have effects. You may have felt dulled, less motivated, or unaware of things that were not good for you. But that does not mean you were a total disaster or beyond redemption.
As healing unfolds, your perspective will become more balanced. You will begin to see that some good things did happen during your time on medication, even if you can't recognize them right now. Negative memories and flashbacks may be dominating your mind, but that is your nervous system under stress. It does not mean those memories define your life.
Eventually, you will look back and see both the good and the hard with more clarity. You will remember your strength and your growth. You will see yourself as a whole person again.
The Healing Process and Growth
There is something wild and beautiful that happens when you heal. You start to see that the suffering, as intense as it was, became part of something much deeper.
I think of a nature park I visited recently with my kids. The guide explained that natural fires are needed for healthy regrowth. Without them, the land becomes overgrown and choked. In some places, they now have to create those fires intentionally to preserve the ecosystem.
That metaphor has stayed with me. My life and my mind felt like they had been burned to the ground during withdrawal. It was terrifying. But what followed was a season of flourishing I could never have imagined.
Healing is not just possible. It is transformative. What felt like complete destruction became the clearing for new life. So much had to be burned away. Fear, confusion, false beliefs, and what remains is richer and more grounded.
You Are Not Alone
Please don’t give up. Listen to those of us who have come through this. We know what it feels like to be lost, to be terrified, to believe you will never be yourself again. But we are here. We are living full lives again.
You are still in process. You are still here. And you are needed. There are good things ahead. If you want to talk more, or if you need support, I’m here.
Healing is coming.
You will know who you are again.
❤️🩹 Joanna