I just wanted to give you all an update. Thank you so much to those of you who watched my last video, made comments on Youtube, or shared it to build awareness and bring solidarity to those of us seeking to heal from medication injury and withdrawal.

Marking One Year Off Medications

On September 11th, I passed the one-year mark for being off meds – though, it depends on how you calculate it, because I tried reinstating in February, had a bad kindling episode on my first dose, and immediately discontinued. If you count from then, it's less than a year, but since being my fast taper last August/September, it has been a year. I was in a really bad wave on the day of my one-year mark, which was hard, but I still acknowledged it as an accomplishment.

Improvement Over the Last Month

The last video I made was about a month ago (even though I didn't release it on Youtube until last week...). And I've definitely seen improvement since then. I've had more windows and have been able to function much more, even going out more often. The other day, I laughed several times, and it was genuine—it felt so unfamiliar. I am seeing real progress, and I hold on to that during the tough waves.

Reassurance and Encouragement

In a wave, it can feel like there's been no progress at all. So, I have to remind myself of the positive signs during my windows. I repeat and reiterate to myself that I am moving forward and that this won't last forever. Many symptoms are dropping off, which is very encouraging. I've had less fatigue and have been able to focus better. Although I still experience rumination and negative emotions, the intensity has lessened over the past week.

Message to Those in Early Months

For those of you in the early months of withdrawal, feeling like you'll never be able to function or feel positive feelings again: you will. I'm here to encourage you because I thought it was impossible, and here I am, functioning so much better. I still have symptoms and waves, but there is real progress, and I now have moments of genuine enjoyment and positive perspective.

Coping Strategies and Support

I recently discussed rumination and looping thoughts with a support circle led by Angie Peacock (I highly recommend joining these). She explained that ruminating is a symptom of withdrawal and will resolve as you continue to heal. Your brain tries to figure out why you're not okay right now, locking onto reasons and looping around them. Each person's reasons may differ, but this is a symptom that will improve with time.

Staying in the Moment

I'm continuously trying to reframe my thoughts and focus on what I can do in the moment. Activities like washing dishes by hand, spending time with my kids, and focusing on tasks help me stay present. Even if looping thoughts are happening, staying focused on the moment helps prevent them from taking over. When I manage to stay in the moment and complete a task, I try to acknowledge and celebrate that accomplishment, like "You did it. You focused on the moment and got the task done."

Invitation

I would love to hear from you all about the symptoms you’re dealing with, the challenges you’re facing, and any topics you'd like to discuss more in depth on this platform.