“I'm Screwed”

If you are feeling like today your life is screwed and it’s downhill from here — if not down a cliff from here — then this is the video for you.

It is just not true… but I know that it can feel very true in withdrawal. You can feel like your life is ruined. Or you may feel like your life is screwed or you’re never gonna feel normal again. You're never gonna be okay again.

But it is just not true. There is hope.

My Worst Days

When I was in the worst of my withdrawal, I had a lot of regret and feelings of doom and disaster and dread and horror… and other terrible symptoms. I was very limited. My life felt very restricted and like I was in a dark cave.

There were also just some life circumstance things I couldn’t resolve and didn’t know the answers for. It was an agonizing time.

If you’re in that place right now, just know: your brain is experiencing a huge amount of fear and anxiety, and it’s interpreting that into your circumstances, your life, your projections of the future.

Don’t Trust the Wave

When you are in the worst of a wave, you can’t believe your own opinions. You just can’t believe the worst of those thoughts. They’re affected by your condition.

The good news? You can actually start dismissing them.

Normally when we feel fear or danger, that’s a signal that something needs to change. But right now, your alert system is going haywire. Your sense of fear is not a good source of truth. Your brain is going through withdrawal.

So… good news: your story actually has so much good coming in the future. More than you can perceive right now.

You Can’t See What’s Coming

You’re on dopamine rations. You have very little to work with, and so your mind is telling you: “There’s not gonna be enough. It’s not gonna work out.”

But that’s just the state of your brain right now. And it’s not gonna stay that way.

Your brain is healing. It’s regenerating. It’s growing new nerve endings. It’s going to produce more of those chemicals. And your understanding — even of this situation — is going to change.

You’ll be able to engage with the world and others in positive, joyful ways again: meeting up with friends, laughing, having coffee, playing games, just living life.

Right now, you may not be able to enjoy those things. But you will again. Good things grow from there.

When I Believed It Was Over

At my worst, I didn’t know that I was in the worst. I just thought my life was over. I had this big court case against myself: all the regrets, all the thoughts that maybe I’d ruined everything, that I was doomed, that it was all my fault.

But none of it was true.

Now, I enjoy my family so much. We do fun things together. I’m able to work. I see friends. I’ve resolved relational challenges I couldn’t even touch before withdrawal. And it’s not because I figured it all out — it’s just grace. It’s just healing.

Hope in Jesus

For me, I’m a Christian. I draw so much hope from God. Jesus faced the worst for me. I remember sitting at the dining room table and reading the verse:
“In this world you will have trouble. But take heart — I have overcome the world.”

Withdrawal is trouble. A lot of trouble. And I could analyze it a dozen ways, but at the core, it’s just suffering. And Jesus already faced the worst kind of suffering and overcame it. He went to hell and overcame death for me. That means He has good for me. If He rose from the dead and has life, then that’s the life He offers to those who follow Him.

That was the comfort I clung to in withdrawal. And if you’re open to it, I want to share that comfort with you too.

You're Not Alone

There is good ahead. There is healing. There is purpose.

You might feel today like you’re screwed. But healing is happening. And you’re not beyond hope.

Let me know in the comments what your journey’s been like. And if you’d like to talk with me one-on-one, you can book that here.

Your healing is happening.