20 Months Off Psychiatric Meds

It’s been about 20 months since I stopped taking antidepressants, and in this video I want to share what healing has looked like, the progress I’ve experienced, and offer some encouragement to anyone else walking this difficult path.

If you’re going through psychiatric drug withdrawal, please know: your situation is headed toward healing. Don’t give up.

Counseling School & Medication Taper

I was in my last year of grad school for counseling, and was thrilled to begin helping others with their own healing journeys. At the same time, I felt ready to taper off my antidepressant after learning that long-term dependency on these medications isn’t always the healthiest path.

But while I was eager to get out there and support others, I ended up utterly crashing with protracted withdrawal. It was crushing—debilitating—and I felt completely hopeless about ever functioning normally again.

When Professional Support Falls Short

I experienced many symptoms associated with protracted withdrawal (PAWS) and tried to get help—through counseling and by talking to my doctor. I deeply believe in both of those supports. I studied counseling. But I was shocked to find that it didn’t help. In fact, I felt much worse.

My doctor ended up putting me back on the medication, and that reintroduction caused kindling—an intense reaction that made things far worse. She simply didn’t realize what she was dealing with, and I had to begin navigating this without the professional help I assumed I’d have.

You’re Not Alone—Even If It Feels That Way

If you’re feeling isolated in your suffering, wondering if anyone will affirm what you’re going through—please hear this: you are not alone. Many people have survived psychiatric withdrawal, and while it may look very different from conventional healing processes, it is possible.

Some do find a doctor or counselor who understands withdrawal. But from what I’ve seen in the online groups, that’s still pretty rare. So if you feel like you’re not getting help—know that’s sadly common, but you’re not crazy, and you’re not making it up.

What Helped Me: Videos, Community, and Faith

Part of the reason I’m sharing these videos is because I survived the worst of withdrawal on others’ YouTube videos. Watching people like Michael Priebe and Angie Peacock, who had made it through and were enjoying life again, gave me such hope. Online support groups, withdrawal buddies, and my Christian faith were also lifelines.

It's fine if you don’t share my same faith background; I just want you to know that my belief in a loving, present God has been part of my own healing.

How Healing Has Shown Up Over Time

Healing for me hasn’t been dramatic—it’s been gradual. Symptoms have slowly dropped away, and I’ve found myself doing more, enjoying more, and forgetting that certain symptoms even existed. I had completely forgotten about anhedonia, for example, until I remembered how awful that used to be.

The despair I felt was intense. I experienced:

• Hopelessness
• Depression
• Intrusive, looping thoughts
• Severe anxiety—like “jump out of a window” levels
• Panic attacks
• Night sweats and sleeplessness
• Tremors
• Dramatic weight loss and hair loss
• Breakouts
• Physical exhaustion and mental confusion

My husband, who had worked in addiction recovery for a decade, later told me I looked like someone going through heroin withdrawal. I felt like I was in hell—condemned, beyond hope.

There's Hope on the Other Side

This stuff is no joke. It causes real damage to your body and mind, and wading through it is brutal. But it’s not the final state. You do come through it. And there is good on the other side.

That’s the message I want to leave with you: there is good on the other side. Hang in there. Your body will begin to sort this out. It’s grievous and unfair that withdrawal happens like this, but healing is real.

Life Reorders Itself

There were also hard life circumstances that coincided with my withdrawal—situations that, under normal conditions, I might’ve coped with. But when your normal resilience disappears, life can spiral fast. Emotions are raw. Nothing makes sense.

But even that can heal. Life can reorder itself. Your mind can regain peace. It’s all part of the process.

I’m Ready to Help Others Heal Too

The beautiful part? I’m finally beginning to feel ready to help others. That brings me so much joy.

If you’re interested in working with me, you can join my email list to be notified when I open hours for sessions.

In the meantime, as often as I can, I’ll keep posting these videos and blog posts as a way to give back. They helped me survive, and I hope they can do the same for you.

Keep going, my friends.

❤️‍🩹 Joanna